


100 Ways

by Kswan



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: 100 ways to say 'I love you', F/F, Hollstein - Freeform, Maybe some angst, Some Swearing, TW: Mention of death, adorableness, but 99 percent fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-25
Updated: 2015-10-09
Packaged: 2018-04-17 02:58:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4649616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kswan/pseuds/Kswan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on this post: http://p0ck3tf0x.tumblr.com/post/98502010026/one-hundred-ways-to-say-i-love-you</p>
<p>100 different ways to say I love you.<br/>The plan is every chapter will consist of 10 ways each.<br/>I will do my best to remember to update the tags with each upload :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1-10

**1\. “Pull over. Let me drive for a while”**

You’d been driving for 6 hours or so, you lost count after 3. You were so excited to go see your Dad for Christmas, even more excited that Carm was meeting your Dad for the first time. Carm had fallen asleep almost as soon as you’d put the key in the ignition. You didn’t mind though, it means you didn’t have to listen to her complain about your music choices and she’s super cute when she’s asleep. You try and stifle a yawn, but you fail. Carmilla stretches beside you and you curse under your breath for waking her. She puts a hand on your thigh briefly, you flick your eyes over to her and you smile at each other.

“Pull over. Let me drive for a while”, you try to protest, but you yawn instead. Maybe you should pull over.

 

* * *

 

 

**2.** **“It reminded me of you”**

“I um. I got you something.” Carmilla says from the living room.

“You what?” You shout from the bedroom.

“I got you something.”

“What for?” You stand leaning against the doorframe of the bedroom.

She shrugs, “I don’t know, I saw it on my way back from work.” You make your way over to the couch and sit next to Carmilla.

“It reminded me of you.” She hands you a black box. You give her a quizzical look and open the box slowly.

Inside is a gold piece of jewellery. It was plain. It looked like it should be a watch of some kind, but there was no clock face. Instead, it appeared to be some form of locket.

“Open it.” She says quietly. When you look at her this time you have a softer look on your face.

You open the locket and the words, ‘ _Brave, Strong, Courageous.’_ are engraved inside in a circle.

“Like you always say, it doesn’t matter about the outside. It’s what’s inside that really matters. I don’t know it’s stupid I guess. I’ll take it back tomor-“ You cut her off with a kiss.

“I love it.”

 

* * *

 

 

**3\. “No, no, it’s my treat.”**

Whenever you’ve had a bad day or worked on a bad story, you phone Carm at the nearest opportunity.

“Hello?”

“Ugh.” You answer.

“That bad huh?” She could read you like a billboard.

“Yeah…”

“Ice cream or waffles?” Even know she knew the answer. It was the same every time.

“Ummm. Both!” You’re already feeling better.

“Ok, meet me at the café.”

“I need to go get my purse from my office first.”

“No, no, its my treat cupcake”

The conversation was always the same, but it never failed to make you smile

 

* * *

 

**4\. “Come here. Let me fix it.”**

You’re getting ready for Perry’s 25th birthday party. Its fancy dress and you are dressed as The Blues Brothers. It’s the only couple costume Carmilla agreed to wear, but you’re not complaining, because damn does she look good in a suit. Before you leave your flat, you’re stood in front of the mirror struggling to tie your tie. “Ugh.” You groan after your 5th failed attempt. Carmilla’s head appears at the doorway.

“You ok cupcake?”

“No.” You mumble grumpily. “I can’t tie this stupid tie.”

She laughs at your bunched up face.

“Come here. Let me fix it.” She approaches you as you stand slouched and still grumpy. She ties your tie in a matter of seconds. She kisses you on the nose and a smile appears on your face.

She traces your smile with her finger. “That’s better.”

 

* * *

 

 

**5\. “I’ll walk you home.”**

It was your second date, she’d taken you to a bar where a friend of hers, Laf, was playing a gig. You’d gotten a cab there and she had been waiting inside. You drank, danced, laughed and had one of the best nights out you’d had in a long time. And that was all because of Carmilla. Laf was telling you all about their college adventures. Carmilla was blushing and getting embarrassed when they tell you about the time Carmilla got high for the first time and went to the roof of the house they were at and scream “FUCK YOU GRAVITY” and jumped into the pool. You laugh so much you almost choke on your drink.

Before you know it, its closing time. You and Carmilla say goodbye to Laf and shrug your jackets on. When you’re on the street, you start looking for an empty cab when Carmilla grabs your hand.

“I’ll walk you home. If you want?” She looks a little unsure, but the kiss on the cheek you give her boosts her confidence. You start to walk down the street, smiling like idiots.

 

* * *

 

 

**6\. “Have a good day at work.”**

The first morning of you and Carm living together is magical. You’d woken up next to Carm before obviously. But there is something about waking up to someone you love in a place that you can call _ours_. You wake up and start making breakfast while Carmilla takes a shower. When she’s finished and dressed you jump in the shower and she takes over breakfast duties. Once you’re done, you sit down at the breakfast bar next to Carm. You eat together listening to the radio, occasionally smiling at each other. You’re finishing off your coffee when the radio presented announces its 8.01.

“Shit!” Carmilla downs her coffee and grabs her briefcase. She rushes out the door. You turn to look at the door, shake your head and return to your coffee. Suddenly, the door flies open again and Carmilla is at your side. She kisses you on the cheek and whispers “Have a good day at work cupcake.” She winks at you and runs back out the door.

 

* * *

 

 

**7\. “I dreamt about you last night.”**

After about a month of dating, you were kind of living with Carmilla. You still had your flat and she still had hers. But you spent the majority of the week at hers. One Saturday morning, you woke up to Carmilla bringing you coffee. On the weekends you didn’t have anything planned, you usually stayed in bed together talking or watching Netflix.

“I dreamt about you last night.” She says before taking a sip of coffee.

“Oh yeah? Was it interesting?” You wiggle your eyebrows.

“Um. Not in _that_ way. It was fairly dramatic actually.”

“Really? In what way?” You sit up a little more, intrigued.

“I don’t know. I mean we were running in a forest. I kept falling and you kept picking me up. Shouting at me to run faster, saying they were onto us.” She pauses, taking another sip of coffee. You knit your eyebrows together, invested in this dream.

“I looked back and all I could see was a black mist. It was weird. But I kept running because you were still shouting at me. We arrived at like a cliff edge and you couldn’t see what was at the bottom. I looked at you beside me and you said ‘Do you trust me’ I said ‘Of course’. You grabbed my hand and we jumped. Then I woke up.” She shrugs with the last sentence.

“So let me get this right. You took a leap of faith into the unknown, purely because you trust me?”

She looks up at you and stares into your eyes for a moment or two. “I suppose so cupcake.”

 

* * *

 

**8\. “Take my seat.” + 9. “I saved a piece for you.”**

You have a dinner planned with Perry, Laf and Carm at a nice Italian restaurant in town. You haven’t seen Laf and Perry in months and actually you haven’t seen Carmilla in a few weeks because you’ve both been busy with work. You’re just about to log out of your computer when an email from your boss comes in. A car chase is taking place down town and you have to edit all the information coming in and make it readable for the news report. “Shit.” You hate cancelling plans.

**To Carm:**

**Story just came in. I’ll try and make it for dessert. I am so sorry.**

You reel off the text and start taking notes on the story.

After 2 hours the car chase story is finished. Stupid criminals, don’t they know they’ve ruined your evening?

**To Carm:**

**You still there?**

**To Laura:**

**Yeah :)**

You sigh with relief and race down stairs. Thankfully you grab a cab fairly quickly, you give him a tip to run a couple of lights. You’re there within 20 minutes and you run inside. You spot the trio in the corner, laughing and drinking coffee. When you approach the table you utter your apologies, a little red faced from the running. There’s not a spare seat so you stand a little awkwardly.

“Hey cupcake, take my seat. I’ll get another.” Carmilla rises and kisses you on the cheek. You sink down in the chair.

When Carmilla finds another chair and sits down next to you, she slides a bowl towards you. “I saved you a slice.” She winks.

You gasp. “Carm, you’re the best!” Giving her a quick hug before you dig in. The conversation continues and out the corner of you eye you can see Carmilla is blushing.

 

* * *

 

 

 

**10\. “I’m sorry for your loss.”**

“Ok Dad. Yeah. Text me when you get there. I’ll check with work tomorrow. Ok. I love you too. Bye.” You hang up the phone and stare at it.

Carmilla is boiling some water for your cocoa, she looks over to you when you hang up. Tears have started to fall silently onto the breakfast bar.

“Cupcake, what’s wrong?” She’s at your side in an instant, rubbing your back gently.

“That was my Dad…Um. My Gran died. Lung Cancer.” You can’t bring yourself to look anywhere else but your phone.

“I’m so sorry for your loss.” She leans in and presses a kiss to your temple. The kettle has boiled and the whistle rang around the apartment. “Give me a sec.” She whispers.

You can hear her moving around, but you still can’t see to remove your eyes from your phone. As if by some miracle, your Dad will phone and say it was a mistake. You feel Carmilla sit back down beside you. She places a mug and a cookie in front of you. She sits quietly, she doesn’t do anything. She lets you gather your thoughts and process.

After half an hour or so, you’ve managed to take two bites of your cookie and drink half of your cocoa. Your hand slowly reaches for Carmilla’s that’s resting on the worktop. She looks at you, but you’re staring at your joined hands.

You raise your hands to your lips and kiss the back of her hand and whisper “Thank you.” 


	2. 11-20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First dates, drunken walks and late night phone calls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if these are shit. Some are longer as well... I don't know.

 

**11\. “You can have half.”**

You were at one of your favourite restaurants in the city. You and Carm were regulars of sorts, going at least twice a month or so. You always got the same thing: large chocolate milkshake, cheese burger with home fries and their cookies and ice cream deluxe for dessert. It was your ultimate favourite dessert. Carmilla always got the steak, medium rare, a coke and for dessert she’d have their brownies and ice cream. This time when the waiter brought Carmilla’s dessert, he looked at you apologetically and said, “I’m sorry Miss Hollis, we’ve ran out of cookies.”

“Oh. Ok. I’ll just look at the menu again then.” Trying not to show him how upset you were over a dessert. You take a menu sitting on the table, looking it up and down.

“You can have half of mine cupcake.” Carmilla says pushing her bowl to the middle of the table.

“Really? Are you sure?” You put down the menu.

“Yeah sure. I mean, I know your sugar levels have to stay high otherwise you fail to function. Right?”

You giggle and nod before turning to the waiter.

“I’m good then.”

“I’m so sorry again. I’ll get you a discount at the till.”

“Thank you!” You say with a mouthful of brownie.

 

* * *

 

**12\. “Take my jacket, it’s cold outside.”**

“I can’t wait for this pizza, I’m starving.” You’re slumped on the couch, your belly sticking out while you pat it greedily.

Carmilla is sat next to you flicking through Netflix looking for something to watch that you guys haven’t seen already. “Maybe we watch Netflix too much…”

You look at each other and simultaneously say “Nahhh!” And fall about on the couch in fits of laughter.

The buzzer rings and you practically fall off the couch and sprint to answer it.

“Hello?”

“Yeah um it’s your pizza little hottie. I can’t open the door, my hands are full can you come down dude?”

“Oh yeah sure, hang on!” You find some shoes lying by the door and you grab the keeps from the bowl.

“Oh hey, take my jacket, its cold outside.” Carmilla says from the couch.

“I’m only going to the door Carm.”

“Alright, but if you come back up complaining you’re cold don’t blame me.” She shrugs.

You scrunch up your nose in thought. You sigh and put the jacket on. Carmilla opens her mouth, probably to say something sarcastic. “Shut up.” You manage to spit out before she could say anything and you run out the door.

 

* * *

 

**13\. “Sorry I’m late.”**

The second time Carmilla met your Dad, she was late. You didn’t mind, you knew she had a Parent Teacher night and some of those parents were crazy. A lot of parents put pressure on their kids to take up music, so Carmilla can get very busy. Your Dad didn’t mind either, he knew she wouldn’t be late if she could help it. You took your Dad to your favourite Burger joint and text Carmilla to tell her to meet you there.

Half an hour later, Carmilla almost bursts through the door, looking visibly out of breath.

“Sorry I’m late.” She shakes your Dad’s hand and kisses him on the cheek. She moves to the chair next to you and gives you a quick peck in the lips.

“Not to worry Carmilla.” Your Dad says handing her a menu.

“Thank you Chris.” He nods and you continue your conversation.

After Carmilla orders, you notice her leg is shaking under the table, a nervous tick she has. You place a hand on her thigh to calm her. She looks at you and grins, visibly more relaxed. You pick up the conversation and Carmilla rests a hand on yours and you smile for the rest of the night.

 

* * *

 

 

**14\. “Can I have this dance?”**

“You’ve never been to prom?” She asks you for the third time.

“Er, child of a very overprotective father. He thought I was going to get high or drunk. Or both.”

“Ah. Of course.” You’re in the middle of the supermarket when she stops pushing the shopping cart. You turn around and she’s on one knee. You start to panic. “Laura, will you supervise a prom with me?” You burst into a fit laughter.

“Yes. YES!” You yell, she stands and picks you up, spinning you in the middle of the vegetable aisle. You both double over with laughter and continue to shop when you’ve regained composure.

When you’re at the prom, your jobs are pretty easy. Make sure no one is having _too_ much fun or damaging anything. You actually have a great time. You stand with Carmilla the whole night and she points out students, telling you all the school gossip. The slow dance song comes on near the end of the night, ‘Hey Ho’ by The Lumineers.

“Can I have this dance?” Carmilla turns to face you and offers you a hand.

You giggle and press a hand to your chest feigning shock. You put your hand in Carmilla’s and she spins you onto the dance floor.

You waltz around joyously, until Carmilla pulls you in by the waist and slows you down to a gentle sway. You rest your head in the crook of her neck.

“Thank you for bringing me. I’ve had a great prom.”

“Well, I’m glad I could be your prom date cutie.” She leans down and whispers in your ear, “You’re my prom queen.”

* * *

 

**15\. “I made your favourite.”**

Carmilla was a good cook, like really good. She loved to bake as well, which you took full advantage of. One morning you wake up to the smell of baked goods, which is a sign that the weekend ahead was going to end with you and Carmilla entering a food coma together on the couch. You smile and stretch before leaving your bed. You shove on an old college hoody and follow your nose to the kitchen. There’s 2 mugs on the breakfast bar with steam flowing out of them and Carmilla is at the kitchen sink washing up. You sneak up behind her and wrap your arms around her waist. She’s wearing a tank top and boxer shorts, man she looks beautiful.

“Good morning beautiful.” You whisper into her shoulder before kissing it a couple of times.

“Good morning cutie. I made your favourite.”

“Realllyy?”

“Mmhmm. Cookies are in the oven and I’m thinking of whipping up some pancakes for breakfast.” She turns around a wraps her arms around your waist too.

“Sounds perfect.” You lean up and kiss her. Best morning ever.

 

* * *

 

**16\. “It’s okay.  I couldn’t sleep anyway.”**

You’re in Washington DC. Without Carm. It sucks. You took the position as politics editor because the pay was better and it meant after a year you would have your pick of positions. So you sucked it up, even though you couldn’t hate politics more. Your boss had sent you down to DC for the presidential candidate announcements. You’d been up all night, turning notes into editorials on your laptop. You look at the clock, its 1am and you’re only half way through. You need a break. No, you need to speak to Carm. You pick up your phone and find her number, pressing the call button you’re praying she’s not asleep already.

“Hello?” A gruff voice answers. Shit.

“Oh shit, I’m sorry I woke you didn’t I?”

“No, it’s okay. I couldn’t sleep anyway, you’re fine.”

“It’s just that I’ve got loads more to do and I just want to sleep but this has to be done by 6.”

“Cupcake, take a breath.” You breathe in and out deeply.

“Good. Now calm down. Have you ever handed in a piece late before?”

“No.” You say firmly, you’re good at what you do.

“Of course not. You’re Laura Hollis, kick ass journalist. Now I know you’re not politics biggest fan but it’s just for a year babe. It’ll get better, I promise.”

You sigh. “You’re right. I know you’re right.”

“Now, do you want to keep me on speaker while you finish? You can read out loud if you want. I’d love to hear the shit Donald Trump is spouting out.”

You laugh and put her on speaker. She lasts 2 hours before falling asleep on the phone. “Goodnight Carm.” You say before hanging up. You make sure to text her saying thank you before turning off your laptop and turning in yourself.

 

* * *

 

 

**17\. “Watch your step.”**

Laf had a gig in a bigger bar somewhere downtown, they’d invited you and Carm and of course you said yes. You met up with Perry outside the bar.

“There’s a guy from a record company in tonight!” Perry squeals, looking a little intense.

“That’s great!” Carmilla says handing you a drink.

The gig goes well as per usual. You’d been busy at work and hadn’t really eaten much, so the alcohol was affecting more than usual. Losing your balance occasionally and almost falling once (Carm was always there to steady you or catch you if required). You decided it was time you went home. You slurred good byes to Laf and Perry. With Carmilla’s hand at the bottom of your back, you stumble towards the exit.

“Watch your step.” She says grabbing your hand as you fall out of the door.

You plant a sloppy kiss on her cheek and she laughs putting an arm around your waist to stabilize you as you take the thankfully short walk home.

 

* * *

 

**18\. “Here, drink this.  You’ll feel better.”**

The morning after the gig, you feel like you’ve been in a boxing match the way your head in pounding. It hurts to open your eyes, everything is too bright.

“Are you hungry cutie?”

“Nup.” You pull more covers over your head to block out the afternoon light.

“Was that a no?” You manage to feebly stick a hand out from under the blankets and give her a thumbs down.

“Ok. I’ll be back in a sec.” You hear the door close and you curl up into a ball, burying your head into the pillows.

A couple of minutes later Carmilla comes back in the room. You hear her footsteps come across the room towards your side of the bed.

“Here, drink this. You’ll feel better.” You poke your head out of the covers and she’s holding a huge glass of water. You bring your hand up to the glass and Carmilla keeps the glass steady with her hands.

“Have these too.” She produces 2 painkillers that you happily swallow with some more water.

She puts the glass on the table, walks over to the over side of the bed and gets in. You turn over and seek out her touch. She settles into the bed a little more so you’re both comfortable. You snuggle into her and fall back to sleep.

 

* * *

 

**19\. “Can I hold your hand?”**

You were pretty nervous for this blind date. Perry had promised you that this Carmilla girl was very attractive. Apparently she was a music teacher so, she’s good with kids, you assume. She had picked the restaurant, it was nice. Actually it was maybe a bit more formal than you’d anticipated. You felt a little underdressed in a plain turquoise dress. You’d arrived early, obviously, and you are taken to the reserved table. Every time the door opened you looked up in anticipation.

This one girl walks in and wow, she is stunningly beautiful. Mid length black hair, slightly pale skin. Black leather pants, black corset and black boots. She’s smiling and she seemed to be approaching your table. No, she can’t be. You look behind you, but there was no other tables. You turn back and she’s stood opposite you, pulling out a chair.

“Hey.” She says sitting down.

Your mouth is open a little in pure shock that this attractive girl was your date. You snap out of it just long enough to mutter a “Hey” back.

“Not that I don’t love it when girls stare at me, but you’re starting to freak me out a little cutie.”

You shake your head to snap out of the spell she’s put you under. “Sorry! It’s just, I think you’re possibly the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.”

“Thank you, you’re not so bad yourself.” She winks at you, causing you to blush profusely.

After your embarrassing introduction, you have one of the best dates ever. You talk all night and a waiter actually has to tell you they were closing and you had to pay your bill and leave. You split the bill and head out the door together.

“I live just around the corner.” You point down the street to your left.

“Can I walk you?”

“Yeah sure.” You smile at each other and start walking.

After walking in silence for a while Carmilla says quietly “Can I hold your hand? Is that ok?” You look at her and nod with a smile. She takes your hand in hers and interlocks your fingers. Even with this small level of contact, you can feel your heart beat quicken and you smile grow.

 

* * *

 

**20\. “You can borrow mine.”**

You’ve got a big interview today with a possible vice president candidate. It is critical for you to look your best. You found your pencil skirt and a pale blue shirt. But where was your blazer? You start throwing clothes around the room and start to panic a little.

“Carm?!” You shout still raking through piles of clothes.

“Yeah babe?” She shouts back.

“Where’s my blazer?”

“The closet?”

“It’s not there!” You’re getting agitated. You shouldn’t be over a blazer, but it’s important you look smart for this. Carmilla appeared at the door with a toothbrush in her mouth. She could see you were getting upset about the blazer, but she knew that the interview was big for you.

“Laura, you can borrow mine.” She reaches into her half of the closet and hands you her blazer. You thanked any and all goddesses, that you and Carm where essentially the same size.

“Laura.” You look up at her. “You’re gonna do a great job.” You throw the blazer on, kiss her on the cheek and grab your keys.

Opening the door, you look back at Carmilla just before you leave. “Carm, you’re amazing.” She smiles and shoos you out the door.


	3. 21-30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Surprise trips, arguments and close calls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is longer than I thought it was going to be. A little angstier than usual. A few of them are short and a little shit. A fewer of them are better :D

**21\. “You might like this.”**

You and Carm were having a lazy day. Even though you love nothing more than lying on the couch with Carmilla, no distractions, no responsibilities. You love it even more when it’s just you and Carmilla in the apartment, doing your own thing. That could mean you both reading, Carmilla playing music, you writing or drawing. It didn’t really matter what but what did matter is you were giving each other space to do something you enjoyed.

“You might like this.” Carmilla pipes up from the couch, nose still deep in her book. You’re sat at the desk behind her writing down some ideas for your next pieces.

“What is it?”

“A book on Amelia Earhart and other female pilots. It’s really interesting.”

“Oh, awesome! I’ll definitely check it out once you’ve finished.”

“How’s your writing going? Any ground breaking articles?” Carmilla says putting down the book on her stomach.

“Meh. Not ground breaking. We’ll see.” You put you pencil down and run your hands through your hair.

“You’ll get there Laura, no need to stress.” You nod, close your eyes and hang your head. Next thing you know Carmilla’s arms are around your waist and she’s kissing you on the head.

 

* * *

 

 

**22\. “It’s not heavy.  I’m stronger than I look.”**

It took you two days to move, which is impressive by your standards. Half of your stuff were clothes and the other half were DVDs and books.

“Why do you even have DVDs anymore? Have you heard of Netflix and iTunes?”

“I have but I like having the boxsets of TV shows. Have you ever thought about what would happen if Netflix was down or the internet went out? What would you watch then?”

Carmilla thinks about your question for a while before picking up a box.

“Ok, you make a good point.” She looks like she’s struggling a bit.

“Are you ok? Do you need a hand?”

“It’s not that heavy. I’m stronger than I look you know.” She winks and walks up to the apartment building.

“Alright.” You grab a pile of blankets and follow her to the door.

 

* * *

 

 

**23\. “I’ll wait.**

During the summer holidays, Carmilla tutored every so often, but she made sure she had lunch free so she could come to your office and eat with you. You treasure those lunches.

“Hello, I’m looking for an attractive journalist. About 5’3, brown hair, great smile, amazing butt-“

“Carmilla!” You look up to find Carmilla leaning on your door, brown bag in hand. “What’s on the menu today chef?”

“Oh just some ham and cheese subs. And some cookies.” Carmilla walks in and sits in the chair in front of your desk. She starts to pluck items out of the bag and placing them on the desk.

“I knew there was a reason I liked you.” You turn to your computer and log off to minimise distractions.

Carmilla laughs and starts unwrapping her sandwich.

You’re about to take a bite, when your phone starts to buzz.

**‘NEWS ALERT: GOVERNOR STEVE PORTER POSSIBLE SEX SCANDAL. NEED YOU IN THE NEWS ROOM STAT’**

You groan. “I’m so sorry Carm, news alert. Some Governor has been sleeping around. If you want to leave I won’t blame you.” You start to gather stuff from your desk.

“No, it’s fine cupcake. I’ll wait.” She beams up at you and you wonder how you ever got so lucky.

“You’re a special one Karnstein.” You peck her on the cheek and rush out the door.

 

* * *

 

 

**24\. “Just because.”**

“Hey.” Carmilla walks through the door and throws her keys in the bowl.

“Hey babe!”

“I’ve been thinking.”

“Yeah?”

“Mm.” She hums as she opens the fridge and picks out 2 cans of soda. She walks over to the table and sits opposite you and looks out the window.

“What about?” You say as she slides a can over to you.

“How would you feel about taking a holiday next week?”

“Where are you thinking?”

“Florida?” She finally makes eye contact with you. She raises an eyebrow.

“As in…Disney World? As in…Harry Potter World?”

“Maybe…”

“But what about work? A week’s notice is too short!”

“What would you say if I already took care of it?”

“You WHAT?!” You jump out of your seat nearly spilling soda everywhere.

“I took care of everything. Flights, holidays, hotels, tickets for Harry Potter World. Everything.”

“AHHH!” You scream and jump up and down. You pounce on Carmilla and pepper her face in kisses as she laughs at your show of affection.

“WHY?!”

She shrugs, “Just because.”

“GAH! YOU’RE AMAZING!” You go back to covering her face in kisses, making sure to not miss a single inch of skin.

 

* * *

 

 

 

**25\. “Look both ways.”**

You’d dragged Carm to at least 15 different shops over the course of 3 hours. She had been supportive at first, but soon started to complain sometime after the 7th shop. You stop at a crossing.

“How much longer cupcake?” Carmilla groans from behind you.

“I just need to find a new pair of heels. Oh and we need a new lightbulb, remember the living room light went out yesterday.” You glance up at the lights and see a flash of green you assume is the green man. You step out onto the road.

“WOAH CUPCAKE!” You feel a hand grab the back of your shirt. And the moment you’re back on the pavement, a car zooms past you.

“Could you look both ways please?! Jesus, Laura!” You’re stood stunned at almost being run over. Carmilla is moving hair out of your face and running her hands over your face and down your arms.

“I’m. I’m sorry Carm.” You stutter. Your heart beat is thudding in your ears. You’re staring into Carmilla’s eyes and you never want to see her face look like that again. She’s drained of colour and deep concern is painted all over her face.

“Just be careful ok?” She starts to plant kisses all over your face. “Come on, let’s go sit down before we go anywhere else.” She leads you to the nearest bench, your safe with her arm around you waist.

 

* * *

 

 

**26\. “I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to.”**

Carmilla is clattering around in the kitchen, while you’re trying to finish your first piece of writing for your new job. Your fingers tap on the keys of your laptop.

“Do you mind?”

“Do I mind, _what?_ ” She snaps at you.

“Could you keep it down? I’m trying to write over here.”

“Oh, ok. I’m just cooking to feed us. Did you not want to eat?”

“I do want to eat. I just would like for you to maybe minimise the voice level.”

“Laura, you’ve not been off that fucking laptop all god damn weekend. You think you might have some words left over for me?”

“Carm, what the hell? You know how hard I’ve worked to get this job. I’ve worked shitty internship for no pay. I _need_ to write a great fucking article so they don’t throw me on my ass.” You’re starting to tear up despite your desperate need to hold them back. “Not all of us walked into our jobs. They aren’t screaming for journalists like they are for teachers. I’m trying Carm. Do you know how many people have told to give up on my dream Carm? Give up Laura, you’re never gonna get a paid job. Give up Laura, the job market is too tough. Give up Laura, just give up. Carm, I thought you were different. I thought you supported me?!”

You’re sobbing, trying to breathe but it’s becoming increasingly difficult.

Carmilla slowly makes her way to you.

“I’m sorry Laura. I didn’t mean to push your buttons. I just feel like you’ve been so distant. I know you’re working hard. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” She wipes the tears away that are still streaming down your face.

She hugs you and squeezes you tightly to draw you closer.

“I’m so sorry.” She whispers.

“I’m sorry too. I didn’t mean to shout at you.” You whisper back.

 

* * *

 

 

**27\. “Try some.”**

When you get home from work you take your jacket off, unwind your scarf, step out of your boots and shake off your gloves. It’s not quite snowing yet, but you can almost feel it in the air.

“Hey! Try some of this.” Carmilla comes up to you with a wooden spoon as you rub your hands together to warm them up. You lean forward and took a taste.

“Mmm! What is it?” You lick your lips.

“Curried sweet potato soup.  Do you like it?” Carmilla moves back to the stove and starts stirring a pot.

“I _love_ it! Can I have a bowl? I’m freezing.” You sit down at the breakfast bar and Carmilla looks over her shoulder and nods.

Carmilla reaches up for 2 bowls and pours some soup into them. She grabs a couple of spoons and places a bowl in front of you and the other beside you. She doesn’t sit down immediately, but you’re too busy letting the soup warm you up to take notice of what she’s doing.

Suddenly a blanket is being wrapped around you. Carmilla rubs your arms in an attempt to warm you up. “Better?” She asks as you sits down, a blanket wrapped around her own shoulders.

“Much.”

 

* * *

 

**28\. “Drive safely.”**

You’re only going to Washington DC for 3 weeks. You’ve decided to drive down so you don’t have to rely on public transport. At least the station have paid for a hotel, so there’s a silver lining after all. The thing that sucks the most is leaving Carm. You wish she could come with you, but she has work and can’t get holiday cover.  You’ve left packing til last minute, like usual, so you’re frantically running around throwing clothes into an open case lying on your bed. Carmilla is smiling at you, sitting cross-legged next to your case, folding clothes after you’ve thrown them.

“Hair Brush?”

“Check.” A hair brush flies through the air and crashes into the case.

“Phone charger?”

“Check.” Carmilla narrowly misses the cable.

“Blazer?”

“Check.” You walk over to the case and carefully place the folded blazer in the case.

“Is that everything?”

“I think so.” You flip the lid of the suitcase and lift it from the bed.

“Alright then.” Carmilla rises and she takes your hand you leads you to the door. She helps you put your jacket on and you turn to face her.

“Ok. Call me when you get there.”

“The minute I park the car.” You both laugh. You hug her tightly and you can feel her smiling against your cheek.

“Drive safely, cupcake.” She kisses you and you try and remember everything about it. Ok, it’s only 3 weeks. But it was going to be a long 3 weeks.

 

* * *

 

 

**29\. “Well, what do you want to do?”**

“Cinema?”

“Nah, there’s nothing really on.”

“Museum?”

“Nah.”

“Well, what do you want to do cupcake?”

“How about we just take a walk and have lunch in a café we’ve not been to?”

“You know what cupcake that sounds perfect.”

 

* * *

 

 

**30\. “One more chapter.”**

God you love Harry Potter. Such a great series. You’d started rereading it about a week ago and you’re already on the 4th book. You’ve been reading whenever you can, breaks at work, as soon as you get home and at night before bed. There lies the problem, you were keeping Carmilla awake. Every night the conversation was the same.

“Alright Laura, you’ve been reading for an hour now, can you please put the light out?”

“Awww…One more chapter?” You pout and she sighs.

“Fine. One more chapter.” She kisses you on the nose and turns over.

You smile and speed read the last chapter. You close the book, turn off the light and snuggle into Carmilla’s back.

“Good night Carm.” You place a kiss on the back of Carmilla’s neck.

“Good night Cupcake.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys this is so much harder than I thought it was going to be. Like why did I think I could write 100 different stories?? I'm obviously going to continue doing them, it just might take me longer to do them. And if they aren't consistently good, please just remember that I have to think of all these different short moments in their relationship that might lead to Carmilla saying the short prompt. Sometimes my motivation is totally shot and I can't even look at the word document so just bare with. 
> 
> I love you all guys. Please just stick with me on this. <3 <3 <3


	4. 31-40

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lost jobs, secret birthdays and third dates. 10 more adorable Hollstein moments.

**31\. “Don’t worry about me.”**

Carmilla was going to a teaching conference in Canada for the weekend. You’re gonna miss her like crazy. You’re excited for her though because she’s been talking about it all month, saying how she’s gonna smack down anyone who says something ridiculously stupid. She was flying over, it wasn’t a long flight but for some reason you kept fussing over her.

“Will you call me when you land?”

“Yes Laura.”

“And when you get to the hotel?”

“Yes Laura.”

“And when you-“

“Laura.” Her hands come to rest on yours and you’re silenced. “Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine.”

“I know. I just want to know that you’re safe and alive. I’d like you to stay that way for a while please.”

“What alive?” She almost bursts into a fit of laughter.

“Yes.” You say firmly.

“Laura.” Her hands are still on your hands and her thumb starts to stroke your knuckles. “I’m not going anywhere. Well. I am. I’m going to Canada for the weekend. But long term. I’m staying right here beside you. Where I belong.”

You look up at her. You’re gonna miss her like crazy.

 

* * *

 

**32\. “It looks good on you.”**

Carm helped you sort out your clothes when you were moving in with her.

“You have _way_ too many clothes cupcake.”

“I wear them all though.” You whine in defence, holding up a pair of jeans you’ve honestly not worn in 3 years.

“Uh huh.” She gives you her ‘I know you’re lying’ look and starts folding clothes.

You start picking clothes out one by one and spending an excruciating amount of time deciding what pile it should go in. This goes on for the whole afternoon, in fact Carmilla orders dinner, because you’re still not finished by 7.

You finally get to your coats and jackets. You hold out a green parka and throw it immediately into your keep pile. You pull out a denim jacket and screw up your face. You’ve only worn it once and that was the day you bought it and you wore it for an hour. You put it against your body and look at Carmilla, seeking her opinion.

“Put it on.”

“Gah, I don’t know. I shouldn’t have bought it, I mean, I only know 2 people who can pull off denim jackets. I never suited it.”

“Just try it. For me?” She looks up with puppy dog eyes and a pout that could get her out of any parking ticket.

“Fine.” You say through gritted teeth as you push your arms into the jacket. “Happy?”

“It looks good on you Laura.” She’s used your real name to make sure you know she means it. You scan her face but you find nothing but honesty. You spin on the spot and look yourself up and down in the full length mirror.

“I say keep it.” You look at her through the mirror and raise your eyebrows.

“Really?” You pull at the jacket, adjusting it in places. You tilt your head, because different angles obviously help you in your decision making process.

“Ok.” You nod, taking the jacket off and throwing in the keep pile.

“Finally.” Carmilla breathes.

“Right, what’s next?” Carmilla groans and throws herself into the nearest pile of clothes.

 

* * *

 

**33\. “Close your eyes and hold out your hands.”**

“What?”

“Close your eyes and hold out your hands.”

“Why?”

“Don’t you trust me?”

“I do.”

“Well then, just do it.”

“Ok.” You do as instructed, reluctantly. Carmilla plants a quick kiss in the centre of each hand before placing something cold and metallic in your palms.

“Open.” She whispers. Your eyelids flutter open and you look down. It’s a key. A single silver key.

“Is this. Is this for your apartment?” You’re starting to get choked up a little.

“Yeah. I mean I know it’s been 2 months, but you stay there a lot anyway. I just thought it would make your life easier.” Her genuine smile is sending waves of happiness through your body. She wants you around. This is a long haul thing.

You start to gather your things. “Get your stuff.” You mumble as you shove your shoes on.

She follows your orders and when you’re both ready you grab her hand and head for the door.

“Where are we going Laura?”

“We’re going to get you a key cut for my place.”

“Oh. Ok.” You don’t look at her, but you can hear her smiling as she says the words.

 

* * *

 

**34\. “That’s okay, I bought two.”**

You meet Carmilla at her favourite café in the city. She asks you what you want and you tell her that you’re not that hungry and you’ll just have a hot cocoa. She tells you to find a seat and she’ll get the drinks.

When she brings the tray around, there’s two drinks and a cookie. You stare at the cookie. True, you weren’t hungry when Carmilla was ordering. But now food is staring you in the face, your stomach can’t help but growl at the sight. Carmilla looks at you and lets out a laugh.

“That’s okay cupcake, I bought two.” Carmilla lifts the cookie to reveal another underneath.

“You, Carmilla Karnstein, are a goddess among mere mortals.”

“I know.” She hands you the cookie and you practically shove the whole thing in your mouth.

 

* * *

 

**35\. “After you.”**

Every time you and Carmilla get in a cab or walk into a building she does the same thing.

She opens the door and says “After you cutie.”

At first you thought it was politeness, you know, when you first started dating. Then when you were exclusive, it continued. Then, it still went on after you moved in together. Once you noticed it, you couldn’t help but think back to all the times it had happened. In fact, you don’t think you can remember a time when Carmilla walking into a building before you.

“Hey Carm?”

“Yeah cupcake?”

“Why do you always let me go first, like into rooms and cabs?”

“I’m a gentlewoman. What can I say?” She shrugs and goes back to her book.

 

* * *

 

**36\. “We’ll figure it out.” + 37. “Don’t cry.”**

Fuck this. Fuck all of this. You put years, your god damn life, into a company and they just throw you out on your ass? Fuck this. They told you that if you took that stupid politics job you could “have your pick of jobs”. Yeah, well clearly they didn’t mean at their fucking station. You didn’t even want to work at a station anyway, you’d much prefer to be writing for a paper or even an online journal. Even fucking BuzzFeed would be better.

You’d managed to keep it together at the station when they told you to clear your desk. You’d managed to keep it together when Perry asked what was happening and you calmly told her you no longer worked for this shitty station. You’d even managed to keep it together in the car. But the moment you stepped into your apartment, you collapsed. Literally in the doorway, a crying mess.

“Laura?” Carmilla appears from around the corner and is instantly at your side. “Cupcake, what’s wrong? Don’t cry. Come on, let’s get you over to the couch. Much more comfortable than the floor, hmm?” She half picks you up and you make an effort to heave yourself up. Still sobbing you walk over to the couch and curl up in a ball. Your breathing is becoming intense, you’re struggling to catch it, so much so you’re basically hyperventilating.

“Laura, sweetie. Breathe. Don’t think about anything. Just look at me and breathe with me. Just focus on that.” You stare at Carmilla’s face and breathe. In and out. In and out. In and out.

After a few minutes of breathing, you’ve found a comfortable rhythm and you’ve calmed down.

“Ok, what’s got you so worked up cutie?” Carmilla leaves your side in search for tissues. She returns with a box and rests a hand on your thigh.

“The little shits fired me.”

“Did they say why?”

“No. They just said they were going in a ‘different direction’. Code for they don’t want me anymore.”

“Ok. So what now?”                                                      

“I don’t know Carm. I put my heart and soul into the work I did at the station. They gave me my intern job and then hired me from there. I worked my ass off to progress and they just kick me out? I mean what is that?” You feel tears swelling in your eyes again, but Carmilla catches them in a tissue before they can travel too far down your cheeks.

“Hey, we’ll figure it out Laura.” She puts a hand up to your face and you lean into it. “Didn’t you always want to work on a paper anyway? Well now’s your chance!” Her voice is cheery and you can’t but feel a little better at her optimism.

“But Carm, journalism is cut throat. The job market is like delving into a small swimming pool full of sharks when there’s only fish to eat.”

“You’ll get something. Just keep a smile on your face Hollis. We’ll work through this. You’ll see.”

She brings you in for a big bear hug and you sink into her arms.

 

* * *

 

**38\. “Can I kiss you?”**

This is definitely the best first date you’ve ever been on. The girl, Carmilla, is smoking hot. You can hold conversations easily with her. You just feel right around her. She even asked you if she could hold your hand. She’s amazing. You’re walking back to your apartment and you haven’t done anything to hide the smile that was plastered onto your face as soon as your hands made contact.

You reach your door, much to your disappointment. You want this night to last forever. But you’re not about to let her up to your apartment. You’re not that kind of person and you want to get to know her first. You slowly make your way to your door. You both turn to face each other. You stare into her dark brown eyes and lose yourself in them for eternity. Her lips start moving, but you completely miss the words that should accompany them.

“Sorry, what did you say?” Her face goes a dark pink and her eyes go to the ground like she’s lost all confidence. She seems to gain it back though, because her eyes find yours again and she repeats herself.

“Can I kiss you?”

“Oh. Um, yeah.” You smile shyly. She starts to lean in and you meet her half way. Your lips meet and your stomach starts flipping and jumping. It’s sweet and innocent, but still passionate. Everything you want a first kiss to be. Carmilla pulls away first and you start to miss her lips immediately.

“Goodnight cupcake. Maybe we could do this again?”

“The kissing thing or the date?”

“Oh definitely both.” She winks, leans in and kisses you on the cheek before leaving you at your door.    

 

* * *

 

**39\. “I like your laugh.”**

After a very successful second date, you were getting ready for your third date with Carmilla.

“Hollis, no embarrassing yourself tonight ok?” You point at your reflection. You flip your hair and leave your apartment.

Your mind wonders back to the last time you saw Carmilla. Laf’s gig was great and seeing Carmilla all embarrassed was super cute. She’s so different around her friends, softer almost. She was starting to be like that with you now. You really like this girl.

You arrive at the bar you’d arrange to meet Carmilla at. You can’t see her when you walk in, but it’s crowded so she could be here already. You head to the bar and send her a text to tell her you’re here.

“Rum and coke please.”

“Make that two.” A familiar voice appears from behind you. You spin around and fling your arms around Carmilla’s neck and hug her.

“Not so fast cutie. I could’ve been a stranger.” You laugh and pull back from her.

“That’s how I greet everyone. Friends and strangers alike.” You both laugh and take your drinks from the bar.

“I like your laugh cupcake.”

“Umm. Thanks. I was born with it.” She chuckles and sits down in a free booth. You sit next to her and shuffle closer. She puts her arm around you and she starts telling you about her day.

 

* * *

 

**40\. “I made this for you.”**

Your 23rd birthday is a quiet. You and Carmilla had been dating for about 4 months or so. You didn’t tell her, because you didn’t want to make a big deal. You finish work and head home. You’re meeting Carmilla at her flat in a couple of hours, so you have some time to shower and unwind from work a little.

When you get to your door, you get a strange feeling. Like someone’s been in the flat. You pause with your key in the door. It’s probably nothing, so you shrug the feeling away and unlock the door. The smell of baked goods floods your nostrils.

“Happy birthday Laura.” Carmilla is stood in the middle of your apartment with a cake in her hands that reads ‘Happy Birthday Cutie’.

“How did you know?”

“Perry asked me how we were celebrating and I told her that it’s pretty hard to plan things when you don’t know these things are happening.”

“Sorry.” You feel a little guilty. “I just didn’t want to make a big deal out of it.”

“Well, I figured that was why you didn’t tell your very understanding girlfriend.” You blush again at the guilt of keeping a secret from Carmilla. “So, I pulled a sickie and came over to make a cake. And since I wasn’t able to get a substantial present at such short notice, I am gifting you control of the television the whole night.”

“The whole night? No complaining?”

“Minimal complaining.”

“Deal! Best birthday ever.” You stick your finger in the cake and taste the amazing icing. Damn, the girl knew her cakes.

 


	5. 41-50

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura's sick, Laura cries over flowers and Carmilla has some 'ideas' about their trip to the cinema.
> 
> *HALFWAY THERE WOOP*

**41\. “Go back to sleep.”**

“Carm? What’s going on?” You’d been woken up by the sound of Carmilla’s voice in hushed tones.

“Oh, I’m sorry cupcake. It’s nothing. Go back to sleep ok?”

“What’s wrong Carm?”

“It’s nothing honestly. I’m just speaking to Mattie.”

You squint at your phone, the time reads 2am. “At this time?”

“Well she’s in Rome. There’s a time difference cutie.” She’s holding the phone to her shoulder. A hand comes up to your face and she carefully brushes back some hair from your face.

“Oh yeah. Ok. Are you sure there’s nothing wrong?”

“Positive. Just a little sibling disagreement. Lie back down Laura.”

You do. But you can’t go back to sleep. She waits a couple of minutes before returning her attention back to her phone. You try not to eavesdrop but it’s pretty hard not to. Eventually, she says some form of good bye and violently taps her phone. You hear her quietly put her phone on her bed side table. Then slowly, she finds her way to you. You smile and fall asleep instantly, comforted by her arm around your waist.

****

* * *

**42\. “Is this okay?”**

“Carm, are you nearly ready?”

“Um, nearly.” Her voice calls out from the bathroom.

“Ok, I just don’t want to be late to this.” You adjust your dress in the mirror and slip your shoes on. Carmilla slowly appears from the bathroom.

“Is this ok?” She’s wearing black leather pants, a black laced top and a blazer. “It’s just that I’ve never been to a funeral before.” She avoids your gaze like she’s embarrassed about this revelation.

“Oh. Never?”

“Never.”

“Well you’re dressed fine babe. Don’t be nervous ok?”

“I’ll try not to be.” You walk over to her. You notice she’s shaking, so you take her hands in yours to soothe her.

“My dad will be there, so you’ll know him. Everyone is cool with me being gay so no problems there. Just be by my side Carm. That’s where I need you.”

Her ears prick up at the sound of you needing something from her. “Then that’s where I’ll be.”

“Come on, let’s go.”

* * *

 

**43\. “I picked these for you.”**

The nights have started to get longer and the cold weather has become a regular thing. You still haven’t found a new job yet, so you’ve been scouring the internet all day in your sweats.

“Hey cupcake!” Carmilla’s overly cheery voice echoes from the hallway.

“Hey.” You reply less enthusiastically.

“I picked these for you. Well, I picked them up from a store but you know, same thing.” Her voice travels to where you’re sat, eyes glued to your screen. You look up and you are met with the most beautiful sight in the world. Carmilla is beaming down at you with a bouquet of sunflowers. You start to feel tears forming in your eyes.

“Laura, are you crying? Why are you crying?”

“They’re just so beautiful and you’re so amazing. I just…”

“Come here crazy.” She sits down next to you, places the flowers on the table and holds her arms out for you to fall into.

“I can’t believe you’re crying over flowers. We really need to find you a job.”

“You think?” You blubber into her shoulder. 

* * *

 

**44\. “I’ll drive ~~you~~ us to the hospital.”**

“Ok. What? Right.” Carmilla walks into the apartment, she sees that you’re on the phone and mouths a hello. You hold up a hand and focus on Perry’s words again.

“Ok, yeah. We’ll be there. Yeah as soon as possible. Ok Perry. Yeah, bye.”

Carmilla is staring at you with a confused expression painted on her face. You shove your phone in your pocket and dive for the nearest pair of shoes.

“Laura? What is it? What’s going on?” Her voice getting increasingly panicked.

“Laf got mugged. They’re pretty banged up. Perry says the doctors think they broke a cheek bone. They have a few more fractures, they’re getting examined right now.”

Carmilla has frozen in her tracks. She gulps the water she just drank. “I’ll drive us to the hospital.”

Carmilla slams the glass down and heads for the door. You follow close behind.

* * *

 

**45\. “What do you want to watch?”**

“Well, what do you want to watch?”

“I don’t know Carm.”

“Laura, you’re gonna have to pick something.” You were only 3rd in the queue. But the line was moving fast.

“Why don’t you decide?”

“I told you cupcake, I don’t mind what we go see.”

“Really?”

“Really.” 2nd in line now.

“So if I said,” you look up at the listings, “The Walk of Shame you’d say?”

“I can tolerate Elizabeth Banks.”

“Right.” You smirk at her, knowing how much of a liar she’s being right now.

“Hello ladies. What’ll be?”

“Hello,” you lean forward to read the guy’s name badge, “Theo.” You glance back up at the listings and think for a second.

“Come on cupcake. It’s not like we’ll be watching it anyway. I’ve got all kinds of thoughts about that back row.” Carmilla whispers in your ear, which makes you blush like mad. Theo start to tap his fingers on the counter as he grows more and more impatient.

“Two for Chef please.” You squeak. Carmilla reaches forward and hands Theo a fist of money. As she does she slips an arm around your waist.

“Enjoy.” Theo spits out as he hands Carmilla the tickets.

“Thanks buddy. Come on cupcake, we’ve got a film to not watch.” She winks at him and leads you to the screen. 

* * *

 

**46\. “You can go first.”**

Mini golf. You didn’t think that Carmilla was the type, but it was her idea. This was your 5th date? 6th date? You’d lost count, but what you did know was you enjoyed spending time with Carmilla. A lot.

Carmilla paid for the gold club rental and she was given a score sheet and a pencil.

“Come on let’s play!”

“Hang on cutie.” Her nicknames for you were growing more frequent and more affectionate. You liked them a little too much maybe. “I’ve got to make sure the scorecard is accurate.”

“Wait, you’re going to take this seriously?”

“This is a serious sport cupcake.” She pause and looks up at you with a dead pan expression. Your stomach flips, because you’ve never seen her so serious. You start to get worried and your face is showing it. Suddenly, she starts to burst into laughter. She rises from her seat and rests her hands on your shoulders.

“I was kidding cupcake.” You instantly relax and all worry is washed away. “Lighten up kid.” She winks and kisses you on the cheek.

“Right. Even though alphabetically I should go first. You can go first, since you’re cuter.” You blush a little as you set your golf ball on the mark and set yourself up for the shot.

“Take your time cutie.” You turn around and pull a face at Carmilla.

You breathe and take the shot. Hole in one. You turn around again and Carmilla’s mouth is open a little.

“You’re up, _cutie._ ”

* * *

 

**47\. “Did you get my letter?”**

“You’re what?”

“My letter?”

“Do people still send those?” You take a bite out of your sandwich and dodge people in the street.

“Yes, they do and I sent you one. I would like to know if you got it.”

“Alright, Carm. I’m heading back to the hotel now. It’s probably at the front desk.”

“Ok, then I’m gonna go.”

“Wait, why?”

“Well, I don’t want to be on the phone with you when you open it.”

“Ok.”

“Alright then. I’ll speak to you later Laura ok? Oh and open it in your room, ok?”

“Yeah sure. Bye Carm.”

She hangs up and you’re left stumped. First of all, it is totally weird she sent you a letter. What could she have to say that she couldn’t on the phone? Second of all, why could you only open in your room? You are really not liking where this is heading, so you quicken your pace. You _need_ to know what that letter says.

By the time you reach the hotel, you’ve totally convinced yourself that Carmilla is breaking up with you and the only way she could do it is via a letter. You almost don’t want to ask at reception, but you do. You’re curiosity trumps everything else. You ask and you receive a crisp white envelope, with your name written neatly on the front. You hold in your hands, still stood at reception for a few minutes before moving to your room.

Once you enter your room, you place the letter on the desk. You sit and stare at it for a further 10 minutes, unable to encourage yourself to open it. Finally, you decide ‘fuck it’ and almost rip open the letter.

_‘Dear cupcake,_

_I know DC has got you down. You’ve only got a week to go and then you’re mine again. I think you’re doing a really good job and you need to remind yourself of that sometimes. I wish you weren’t so tough on yourself, but if you weren’t I suppose you wouldn’t be the girl I loved. Keep your head down and keep writing. I’ll see you at the airport in exactly a week._

_Love you to Pluto and back Laura,_

_Carm x’_

You’re completely speechless. The exact opposite of what you thought it was going to be. You have so much love for her, you’re almost tempted to get on a plane right now. Instead, you send her a text that says, ‘I got your letter <3’. You reread the letter a thousand times and each time your heart grows a little more.

* * *

 

**48\. “Call me when you get home.”**

Laf’s 24th birthday was messy…for Laf. You’d gone to a nice meal, just the four of you and when asked what they wanted to do next Laf said they wanted to go to a bar. You all shrugged and decided a bar could be fun. Laf found a bar a couple of blocks from the restaurant so you decided to walk. Perry and Laf walked in front, while you and Carm walked a little bit behind them.

“They’re so cute.” Your eyes glued on the couple in front of you.

“Not as cute as you cupcake.” You look at Carmilla and she’s staring at you.

“Flattery will get you everywhere Karnstein.” You lean in for a kiss.

“Oi! Lovebirds, we’re here.” You turn your heads in Laf’s direction. You both blush a little, as Carmilla holds the door open for you to go in.

The bar is loud, you have work tomorrow, so you’re not drinking too much. Laf on the other hand was drinking anything and everything. Shots, whiskies, bourbons, spirits you name it, Laf probably drank it.

After a few hours in the bar, Laf is looking exceptionally pale and almost throws up at the booth. Perry managed to rush them outside before that could happen though. Laf was stumbling all over the place and was slurring all of their words.

“Alright cutie, I’ll take Perry and Laf home. Will you be ok?”

“Yeah, I’ll just get a cab.”

“Ok, call me when you get home?”

“Yeah I will.”

“Great, see you later cutie.” She kisses you on the cheek and manages to catch Laf before they fell over in the street.

* * *

 

**49\. “I’ll do it for you.” + 50. “I think you’re beautiful.”**

You’re lying on the couch, with a hot flannel on your head and a mug of soup in your hands resting on your stomach. Carmilla has covered you in multiple blankets and she’s just gone out to get you more supplies. You sigh. You hate being sick. Luckily, you’ve not felt the need to throw up today. But you have a headache that feels like a herd of elephants have done an intricate ballet routine on your head. Every time you stand the room spins around and around and around. You’re doing as you were told and staying still. Netflix is on in the background. You don’t know why, but you really love watching nature documentaries when you’re sick. Maybe it’s David Attenborough’s soothing voice?

“I got the drugs!” Carmilla announces she’s back from the pharmacy and she makes her way over to the couch. “How are you feeling cupcake?”

“Like a sick cupcake.”

“Oh no that won’t do.” She pouts at you and peers into your mug. “How’s this? I’ll get you more soup and some water. You can take some drugs and then fall asleep to Sir Attenborough telling you about the Amazon?”

“Sounds great.” Carmilla pats you on the thigh and takes your mug to the kitchen to fill it up.

You remember you haven’t emailed your boss to tell him you won’t be in work the at least tomorrow and Tuesday. So you slowly start to sit up, boy was that a mistake.

“Whoa, whoa! What do you think you’re doing?” Carmilla has both hands on your shoulders, slowly pushing you back to your previous position.

“I need to email my boss.”

“I’ll do it for you cutie. You just need to stay here and get better.” You nod, too weak to protest any longer. She goes back to the kitchen and brings back your soup, water and medicines. She grabs her laptop and gets you to lift your head so she can sit down. Once she’s settled, she places a pillow on her lap and gestures for you to lie back down. She starts to stroke your head softly and hums something.

“Ok, so bosses email?”

“James Stillwater at gmail.com I think.” You sip your soup, careful not to spill any onto your chest.

“Ok. Dear Mr J Stillwater, I am emailing on behalf my girlfriend, Laura Hollis. She is currently ill and will be unable to come into work Monday through to Wednesday. Sincerely Carmilla Karnstein. How does that sound?”

“Perfect.” You look up at her and she just smiles back down to you.

“Great. Annnnndd, sent!” She shuts the laptop and chucks it towards one of the armchairs. She rests one arm on your hip and the other is still stroking your head.

“Hey Laura?”

“Yeah?”

“I think you’re beautiful.”

“Really?”

“Yeah Laura.” She places a kiss on your forehead. “Hey, try and nap for a bit.”

“Ok.” You turn a little and close your eyes. “Hey Carm?”

“Yeah?”

“I think you’re beautiful too.”

“Well thanks cupcake.” You smile and drift off.


	6. 51-60

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Almost proposals, new jobs and hanging out with friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YO, sorry it's been so long, but life got in the way and for a while I just didn't feel like writing. So I hope this is up to the normal standard. I'm pretty sure it's one of the longest yet so enjoy! Again, sorry for the delay, it's been too fucking long my friends.

**51\. “Are you sure?” + 52. “Have fun.”**

“I’m pretty sure this is too soon, but do you want to come to my Dad’s birthday party?” You’re sat eating lunch outside with Carmilla. You’ve been thinking about asking her for a good week now, but you’ve only been dating for a little under a month now.

“Oh, is it gonna be a big thing?” Carmilla was trying to seem cool and calm, but you liked to think you knew her pretty well. Her lack of eye contact was revealing her secrets.

“Um, well I suppose. A decent amount of my family, his friends from work, his bowling buddies…” You’re counting the groups on your fingers when you stop. Carmilla is pushing her food around on her plate, being quieter than usual. Yeah she doesn’t want to go, this is too soon.

“Uh huh. Well…”

“Look, you don’t have to go. It’s too soon for you to meet that many people. Honestly, I shouldn’t have even bothered to ask. It’s fine, honestly.” Trying not to sound too pushy or like you’re pissed off, because you’re really not.

“Are you sure? I’m pulling a dick move aren’t I?” She lifts her head, eyebrows connected in concern.

“No! Honestly, you’re fine.” You reach for her hand across the table so she knows that you mean it.

“Ok, it’s just. God this is embarrassing. I’ve…Never met my girlfriend’s family before.” Her face is a little red and her eyes dart back down to her plate.

“Really?” That sounded a little more shocked than you were planning. “What I mean is, that’s ok. I don’t want to pressure you into anything.” You stroke her knuckles with your thumb to reassure her. “The party is this weekend, how about I come round to yours afterwards?”

“Sounds good cupcake.” Finally she smiles at you.

“Great, ok. I should go pack and make travel arrangements. I’ll text you later ok?”

“Have fun at the party cupcake. Yeah, I’ll text you later.” You lean down and kiss her on the cheek and rush home to pack.

 

* * *

 

**53\. “Sit down, I’ll get it.”**

You were having the worst cramps of your life. Ok, you always say that, that’s because it always is the worst cramps _of your life._ Somehow, Carm never got super bad cramps. Well if she did, she never showed it.

“UGH” You groan, a bundle on the couch surrounded in blankets and pillows. “Tea, tea is good.” You nod to yourself but groan again at the thought of getting up.

“Sit down, I’ll get it.” Carmilla is suddenly by your side, tucking another blanket around your side.

“Thank you.” You snuggle down and watch Carmilla move around the kitchen, content in your mountain of blankets.

“You can choose the movie tonight babe.” Carmilla said as she poured the water into a mug.

“No! You choose, you’ve been an actual hero taking care of me the past few days.” You protest.

“Ok creampuff, what about Easy A?” She places the mug on the coffee table and tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, before settling back in her armchair.

“Easy A sounds…good.” You struggle to keep your eyelids from drooping down.

“You tired cupcake?”

“Me?” You try, and fail, to stifle a yawn, “not tired. Super excited about movie night.” You yawn again.

“Yeah try and contain your excitement. Did you want popcorn then?”

You try and respond but your tiredness is overwhelming your body so much you can’t even speak properly. The last thing you remember is Carm saying your name a couple times, before she got up to tuck you in some more.

 

* * *

 

**54\. “I made reservations.”**

When you finally got the phone call from the newspaper you applied to. The first job since you were ‘let go’ from the station. You were out doing grocery shopping when you answered the call. You nearly drop the apples that you just put in a bag. As soon as you regained some sort of composure, you find Carmilla’s contact in your recently used and tap your foot as you wait for Carmilla’s voice to break the ring tone.

“Cupcake?”

“I GOT IT!” Your volume gains you a few stares, but quite frankly you couldn’t give a shit.

“YOU DID?!” Her matched excitement makes you even more excited and your grin grows wider.

“YEAH BABE!”

“OH MY GOODNESS. I AM SO PROUD OF YOU LAURA”

Your eyes begin to well up at the thought of making Carmilla proud. At the thought of finally having a job that you are guaranteed to love, a job that shouldn’t screw you over. At the thought of not being unemployed and moping around the apartment again.

“Thanks Carm. That- that means a lot. I should go, I’m shopping. What do you want for dinner?” You hear some taps on the other end of the call. “Carm?”

“Hey! Ok, don’t get anything for dinner. I made reservations!”

“You made res- When?!” You start walking again, with the shopping basket hanging on your arm.

“Just now! There’s an app for that cupcake! Hurry home and get dressed in your finest outfit beautiful!”

Your smile grows wide again and you start to giggle. “Ok, Carm.”

“See you at home cupcake!”

 

* * *

 

**55\. “I don’t mind.”**

You pick up your phone, tap it against your left palm. You’ve been staring at it for what feels like hours. Carmilla is away at her brother’s for a family thing. She didn’t give you details, so you never asked. You learned that quickly about her. This isn’t urgent. But you want to know, _need_ to know if it’s ok.

“Screw it.” You unlock your phone and tap on the adorable photo of Carmilla you’d set as her contact photo.

“Hey cupcake.” She answers cheerily, you’re relived that she doesn’t seem angry at your calling. “What’s up?”

“Oh nothing. How’s the family thing?” Your voice is higher pitched than you’d like it to be. A tell-tale sign that you’re holding something back.

“Good thank you.” She pauses, maybe waiting for what she suspects is the reason you called. But you can’t seem to say it out right. “Laura. Why are you calling? Not that I don’t love to hear your voice, but there must be a reason.”

“Well. Um. I was wondering. I mean I’m here in the apartment with nothing to do. And I, well…”

“Laura, spit it out for goodness sake girl.”

“CanIhaveyourNetflixpassword?”

Carmilla lets out a loud laugh, almost a cackle.

“Carm?”

“Is that why?” Her laughter interrupting her words. “Is that why you called? For my Netflix password?!” You can imagine her doubled over, unable to control her breathing. It makes you giggle too.

“Yes. I thought you’d be pissed if I watched something without you.” You say as innocently as possible.

“I don’t mind cutie. Knock yourself out. Now I have to go explain to my sister why I’m crying with laughter. Thanks cutie. I’ll text you when I’m on my way back.”

“Ok Carm! Say hi to everyone for me!” Just before you hang up you hear Carm saying ‘Netflix password, HA!’ and you scrunch up your nose. It’s going to take you a while to live that one down.

 

* * *

 

**56\. “It brings out your eyes.”**

“Ok, this isn’t a big deal. Well it is, but it isn’t. It’s my dream job, but it’s not like there aren’t any other jobs right?”

“First of all, Laura breathe please. I don’t know if you know, but breathing is crucial for living and I’d like you to stay that way as long as possible please. Secondly, yes it’s kind of a big deal. But it’s just another interview ok? You’ve been to plenty of them and if this paper can’t see that you are a journalist extraordinaire then it’s their loss.”

You are pacing in your bedroom. Wearing tights and a black bra, with several dresses sprawled all over the room. Shoes litter the floor. Your head’s just a big of a mess as the room is.

“Laura for fuck sake, sit down.” You do as you’re told and sit next to Carmilla on the bed. You put your head in your hands and let out a hefty sigh.

“Laura Hollis you look at me.” She gently, but firmly grips your chin and angles your head towards her. “Repeat after me: I am Laura Hollis.”

“I am Laura Hollis.” You mumble, partly because Carm’s hand is still on your chin. She promptly removes it when she realises and starts back up again.

“I am a badass journalist.”

“I am a badass journalist.”

“I deserve this job.”

“I deserve this job.”

“Carmilla’s ass is hot.”

“Carmilla’s ass is hot.”

“Oh thanks cutie.” She winks at you and you scrunch up your face at her. “So get that cute butt of yours up and find yourself an outfit that will make you feel as invincible as I know you are Laura Hollis.”

You nod confidently and get up to start raking your closet. Carmilla lies back, sticking her nose into a book until you’re ready to show her an outfit. You find a pencil skirt, a blouse and a blazer.

“How’s this?”

“I like it. It brings out your eyes. And your ass looks great.” Carmilla makes the ‘OK’ hand gesture while winking, which provokes you to send a pillow flying in her direction.

You stand in front of your mirror and scrutinize the reflection in front of you. Carmilla suddenly appears in the reflection too.

“Honestly cupcake, you’re gonna crush it.”

“You think so?”

“I know so.” She finds your hand and gives it a reassuring squeeze. Somewhere inside the reassurance settles and for the first time in a long time, you believe in yourself.

 

* * *

 

**57\. “There is enough room for both of us.”**

There’s not much you love more than hanging out with your friends with good food. Every month or so you all try and get together. You try and change up the location between everyone’s apartments. This month, it’s your turn. Well you and Carmilla, but it’s nearly finals and Carmilla has been staying at school to put on extra classes for her classes. So it’s up to you. Luckily, everyone seems ok with pizza, so you don’t have to subject everyone to your mediocre cooking.

Soon enough, Danny, Kirsch, Laf and Perry just beat Carmilla to the apartment.

Everyone is settled in the living room, conversations buzzing, when Carmilla bursts through the door.

“Sorry! Sorry, I ran and boy was that a mistake. Scooby gang, how’s it going?” The group respond with a mix of nods and “Greats!”

“Good, good. Hey cupcake.” Carmilla approaches you and presses a kiss on your lips.

“Hey babe, pizza should be here soon.”

“Awesome. Did I tell you how great you looked today?” She places another kiss on your lips and you giggle at the compliment. You love it when she’s like this, carefree and full of love.

“GET A ROOM.” It’s only then you realise your friends have been staring at you during this whole exchange.

“Oh Xena, we have one.” Carmilla points to your shared bedroom, “do you want us to go use it, very loudly, right now? Because if that’s what you want then…” Carmilla grabs your hand and starts to lead you to your bedroom.

“STOP BEING DISGUSTING FANGFACE.” Danny shouts just before you cross into the room.

“Hm. That’s what I thought.” She drops your hand and mutters something about changing out of her ‘stuffy teacher stuff’.

Your doorbell rings, you grab your purse and answer it. You tip the pizza guy and struggle with the 5 boxes of pizza.

“Lemme help you little L.” Kirsch quickly rises from his seat and sweeps the pizza boxes out of your hands. “Where’d you want them?”

“Living room will be fine thanks Kirsch.” He grins at you and pretends to nearly drop the pizzas on Laf, making Perry nearly have a heart attack and Danny laugh in the corner. You’re fixing drinks for everyone when Carmilla appears in an old college hoody and sweatpants. She throws herself down in her armchair and joins in the conversation about how Laf’s band has a small tour coming up.

The thing about your living room is, although it’s a fairly big room, there’s not a lot of furniture residing in it. A 3 seater couch and 2 armchairs. With Danny, Laf and Perry piled on the couch, Kirsch in an armchair and Carmilla in _her_ armchair, it doesn’t really leave much room for you. You don’t mind however, it’s more the company. You’re so happy everyone managed to come together tonight, sometimes a month feels too long to be away from everyone.

You bring the drinks over and kind of half perch on the arm of Carmilla’s armchair.

“Cutie, there’s enough room for both of us.” Carmilla looks up at you, almost mischievously. Before you could open your mouth to protest, Carmilla hooks an arm around your waist and you land on her lap facing her. “See, much better right?”

“Right.” You smile at her before giving her a quick kiss and returning to the conversation.

The rest of the night is filled with laughter, remising, eating and promises to meet up again soon. In other words, perfect.

 

* * *

 

**58\. “You don’t have to say anything.”**

“Hey Laura?”

“Yeah Carm?” You’re folding clothes in the living room, while Carm is filling in the crossword at the kitchen table.

“Do you ever think about marriage?” You stop for a second and Carmilla turns around to face you. You don’t know where this conversation topic has come from, but now it’s here and you’re curious.

“Sure.” You go back to folding clothes, but your eyes haven’t left Carmilla’s. “You?”

Carmilla pauses and thinks for a moment before answering. “Yeah, I’ve never really ruled it out I suppose. For the right person.” The look she has in her eyes ignites a fear you never knew you had.

“You’re not gonna propose right now are you? On a Sunday afternoon while I’m folding clothes and you’re doing the freaking crossword?” You can feel a crease in your forehead forming and your voice rising a few octives. Why are you freaking out about this? It’s not like you haven’t thought about marrying Carmilla.

“What would you do if I was?” She puts her pen down and slowly rises from her seat. You drop the skirt you were holding and swallow the lump that had apparently formed in your throat. Once Carmilla is close enough, she takes your hands in hers and looks you with this soft expression. “Look, you don’t have to say anything. And I’m not proposing right here, right now. But, one day, I want to be able to call you my wife, Laura. I want to be able make that commitment to you.”

“I want that too. I do. I don’t know why I got all freaked out because I’ve definitely imagined getting married to you.”

“You have?” Her face lights up and you don’t think you’ve ever seen her so hopeful. She sit down in the empty space on the couch and guides you down to sit on her lap. “Tell me what you imagined.” She looks like a kid at Christmas, so excited at the prospect of getting presents.

“Well…” And you begin to tell her all the things you’ve ever even given the slightest bit of thought to. The smallest ideas you’ve entertained about a Hollis/Karnstein wedding. Her face somehow gets brighter as you go into details about flowers and who would be doing speeches. At some point you managed to end up lying face to face on the couch as Carmilla listens intently to every word and twists strands of your hair. Eventually, you finish talking and Carmilla starts to talk about all the wedding things she’s ever thought about.

And that’s how you ended up planning your wedding with Carmilla, before you were even engaged.

 

* * *

 

**59\. “Wow.”**

You’d been working at the paper for about a month or two and they were moving you around different departments. They had told you that you would try out departments to get a feel for what you’re comfortable with and good at. You were kinda thankful, it was like a fresh start. This week you were on their ‘Good News’ department. A small department where if you start getting stressed out, you can work there for a couple of weeks, it’s not hard hitting journalism, but it’s also not high school paper either. It’s just a part of the paper where you get to find a local story or a national story that will cheer up the reader. And you intend on making every reader grin like an idiot.

You find your story in less than 24 hours (yeah journalism is definitely your game alright). It turns out that the dog down at the fire station went on his 100th ride on Saturday and they had a little medal ceremony planned for tomorrow. You grab your phone and your notepad and rush down there first thing. You spend the afternoon and evening typing up the piece and adding the pictures you took on your phone. After dinner you let Carmilla read it. You’re usually a bit wary of Carm reading your stuff, but this wasn’t really opinionated, it was fluff.

“Wow cupcake. How you turn this story into this?”

“What do you mean?” You walk over and rest your chin on her shoulder making sure she is reading the story you spent all day on.

She points at the pictures on screen. “Look cutie, the story is essentially just a bunch of fireman giving a dog a plastic medal. But somehow you’ve spun into something inspirationally beautiful.” She turns her head to look at you and you do the same. “You’re so good at your job Laura.” You smile and watch her eyes watch your lips. “I hope you know that.”

“Carm,” you begin to say but Carmilla’s lips interrupt you. The best reaction to a story ever.

 

* * *

 

**60\. “Happy birthday.”**

Your Dad and Carmilla convinced you to have a party for your 25th birthday seeing as though it was a ‘landmark’ birthday. You let Perry plan it because she’s so much better at that kind of thing than you are. You just got to sit back get nervous about the event.

You got ready with Carmilla in your apartment, she kept coming up behind you and kissing you on any bare skin that was showing.

“I know you don’t really want to do this, but I promise that you’ll enjoy it.”

“How can you be sure?” You look at her in the mirror and she rests her chin on your shoulder. She stares at you for a moment.

“Because, all of your friends will be there. Your Dad will be there. And there will be cake. What’s not to enjoy?” She tilts her head so her lips meet your skin again. “Besides, I’ll be with you the whole time.”

“Promise?” You can barely meet her eyes in the mirror.

“Absolutely.” She whispers into your skin, so you can feel it. “Get that butt of yours downstairs so we can get going. You look great by the way.” Her hand goes to your waist for a couple of seconds before she leaves you to grab her jacket.

You hop into a cab and Carmilla gives the address. You had asked not to know anything about the party so you couldn’t stress out as much. You don’t know why you had such anxiety about parties, probably because everyone will look at you. Attention all on you. The thought made a shiver travel down your spine. Carmilla could sense that you were uncomfortable and in an attempt to put you at ease she took your hand and started planting soft kisses all over it. It made you smile, which in turn made Carmilla smile because she’d been a little successful.

Your cab stops and the driver turns slightly to let you know you had arrived. Carmilla paid and you both thanked him before getting out. You stood, smoothed your dress down and took a deep breath. Before you could talk yourself out of anything, Carmilla’s hand was in yours and you were both stood facing the building.

“Whenever you’re ready Laura.” Carmilla was still looking at the bar, not wanting to add unnecessary pressure on you. God, you loved her so much.

After a couple more minutes of silence and you focussing on breathing somewhat steadily, you manage a shaky “Ok, let’s go.” And Carmilla headed towards the door to open it for you, like always.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” A chorus of your friends and family shout at you as soon as you stepped foot in the bar. You’re taken aback a little, maybe getting a little emotional when you can see your Dad waving like mad with an arm around Laf who was laughing at your Dad’s enthusiasm.

You feel a familiar hand on your waist, Carmilla steps next to you and whispers “Happy birthday cupcake,” before kissing you on the cheek.  

**Author's Note:**

> Comment here or get me on Tumblr at netflixandduvets if you want to chat to me :')


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